I froze as I started to step away from the door, when I saw the look on Alex's face. My stomach knotted and I felt myself start trembling. I watched him get up and walk over to me and kept my gaze on his as his arms came around me. He pulled me towards him and a moment later, I was pressed against him. His hard, fit body felt amazing against mine and I put my arms around his waist and my head on his shoulder. I felt his hand moving around on my back, making slow roving circles. A moment later, his hand was on my chin and he moved my face up to look him in the eyes. His hands moved into my hair and I felt him pull the hair tie out, letting the riot of curls out.
"I love your hair," he whispered in my ear. I shivered at his warm breath on my ear and wrapped my arms tighter around him.
His hands slipped from my hair onto my face and his tilted my face and pulled my face to his for a kiss. We stood there kissing for I do not know how long before he finally let go of me. He walked over to the I-pod dock I had in one corner of my room and moment later and Keith Urban's new song "without you" starting playing softly in the room. He walked over to me with his hand extended and said, "Let’s dance"
Smiling I put my hand in his and let him pull me into his arms as we started to move slowly to the song softly playing. I put my head on his chest, listened to his heartbeat, and left peace start to come over me.
After the song ended, the room settled into silence but we kept dancing not noticing. After what seemed like hours, I pulled away from him and pulled him towards the bed. He pushed me down onto the bed and went to turn off the light. He looked at me with a question in his eyes and I pulled back the covers in answer. Smiling he got into bed and kissing me pulled me against his body, wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my head against his shoulder and fell asleep feeling warm and loved.
Two hours later, I woke to Alex shaking me, sounding urgent. I opened my eyes and his face was inches away from mine. I looked at him in confusion and fear and he shook my shoulder again. I looked at his face, noticed his mouth moving, and realized he was saying something. I concentrated and finally heard him saying, "are you okay Rory? Did you have a nightmare? A bad dream?"
I took a gulp of air into my starved lungs and said "yes" and felt tears start welling up in my eyes. I felt my body start shaking and Alex, swearing softly, pulled me into his arms.
"Do you want to talk about the dream?" he asked rubbing my arm
I was quiet for a minute as I thought about it and then said, "I dreamt about Kevin". I paused and drew in a deep breath before continuing "I dreamt that I was walking in Coiner Park, which is...um...was one of Kevin's favorite places to go to think and hangout. And as I am walking around the park, I hear someone calling my name. When I turned around it was Kevin. He...he was covered in blood. It was everywhere and he was still bleeding. As I watched him walk over to me, he was limping and his left arm was swinging and he didn't even seem to realize it"
I choked on a sob and stopped while I tried to get my voice back. Finally, I continued, "when he finally caught up to me, he looked at me with this...this hatred in his eyes and said, "You let me die. Because of all the things, you said to me before you left, I was not paying attention things around me and did not even realize there was a car coming down the road. I am dead because you let me die. Oh my God I let my best friend die"
By this time, I'd started sobbing uncontrollably and coudln't talk. Alex hugged me tighter and let me cry which was exactly what I needed to do. After I calmed down a bit, Alex turned my face to his and looking me directly in the eyes said, "Let’s get one thing straight. You Did Not Let Kevin Die. You had nothing to do with it. Kevin is gone because some moron was drunk in the middle of the day and decided to drive. You don't know what Kevin was thinking when he was hit. You don't know if he tried to get out of the way or if the car came upon him suddenly. As for your fight with him, they happen. In every relationship, there are fights and that’s generally, what makes the relationship stronger. Kevin knew you love him and that everything would ok. He wouldn't want you to think that this is your fault"
As Alex had talked, I'd stopped shaking and...
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