Menu Pata (trans: I know)

Jack just kept on looking at me for a few more minutes and then finally said "I know that you think I don't know how much more is expected of you, but I do. I know that you constantly have to deal with sexist part of our culture by being forced to conform to their expectations. I understand that sometimes the pressure of being perfect all the time gets so intense that you have to do something stupid or immature or just plain dangerous just so you don't go crazy. But what you don't seem to see is that you can talk to me. That there are other ways to dealing with pressure then going out to a party, dressed a basically a slut and getting drunk".
After he stopped talking, we just looked at each other. I sighed and said “Jack I know that I can talk to you. That’s not the issue here. The thing is that sometimes I feel like there are four walls around me and they are closing in, and fast. That’s how I have been feeling for the last few weeks. I just needed to do something that was completely not like me. We both know that I’m usually not a party girl. And that’s another thing. I don’t even know if I would be a party girl I have a chance. I am 20 years old and I live at home. Before I do anything I have to check with mom and dad”. I turned around and walked to my closet and started taking out my pj’s. “Do you remember a few weeks ago when I asked mom if I could go to the haunted warehouse with my friends? Do you know what she said?” “No I don’t know what she said” Jack said.

“Her answer was that I couldn’t go hangout with my friends because I had been doing that too much lately. When I told her I hadn’t hung out my friends since the beginning of September, she said that wasn’t that long ago. Tell me Jack, is hanging out with your friends once during a solid 2 month period too much? Do you remember the last time you had to ask mom and dad if you could go hang out with your friends?” I said.

I looked at him and he said “No I don’t remember actually but that doesn’t prove anything.”

“That’s where you are wrong, Jack. It does prove something. It proves that there is a big difference between how we are treated by our parents and by the rest of our Indian society. I realize that it could have something to do with age, but you are only 2 years older than me, not 12. I am 20 years old, not 2. Yet I am still treated like I am 2 and need to be told what to do all the damn time. Sometimes I want to shake you so hard Jack because you don’t appreciate what you have. You are so lucky to have all this freedom. I’m not saying that I’m not lucky because I am. We both live good lives and our parents provide for us and love us. But sometimes I just wish that they would trust me to make my own decisions. How big of a deal is it to hang out with your friends? All I do right now is go to classes, go to work, come home, do homework, go to bed and then do it all over again. That’s a great life for a 20 year old isn’t it?”

I stopped him before he could say anything and said “I’m tired Jack and very hung over. I have a head ache and the room is starting to spin so can we please just forget that any of this ever happened? It’s not like I’m going to do anything like that again, anytime soon. I’m sorry that I made you worry but it wasn’t my intention. Why don’t we just both go to bed and you can lecture some more tomorrow if you want. But I would rather forget that we had this conversation”

“Okay” he said, “we’ll forget that I caught you sneaking into the house at 4 in the morning, drunk and dressed like a slut. But I can’t promise that I’ll forget this conversation because this is the 1st time in a long time you’ve actually really talked to me. I won’t tell mom and dad about this because I know you and you won’t do something stupid like this again. I love you, Rory, please don’t forget that. And remember that you can always talk to me.

“Good night, Jack”

“Night, Rory”

I shut the door quietly behind him, locking itand then headed for the shower and changed into my pj’s. Walking over to the dresser I saw that I had another test message. I debated leaving it until morning but picked it up anyways. It was from Kevin and he said “there’s something that I’ve been wanted to tell you for a while and that’s I love you. Not in a friends kind of way but I have been in love with you since we met. I hope that this confession doesn’t destroy our friendship but I had to let you know”. I froze and stared in shock at my phone…