Ahso (tears)

I kept my gaze on the flickering candle in my hands as I talked. I knew if I looked up and saw people crying I would lose it and I didn't want to cry here in front of everyone. As I talked about my friendship with Kevin I felt the pressure in my chest start to loosen up. It felt good to be talking about him with people who knew him almost as well as I did. After I got done telling them a story I paused as I tried to think of something else to say. Something that would leave us all with a sense of grief but also of a start of closure.

I finally looked up into the crowd and said "After being friends with someone for over 9 years, you get to know them almost as well as you know yourself. I know, as well as most of you do that Kevin wouldn't want us to mope around and rehash how he died. He would want us to talk about the good times. The crazy ideas that he came up with that you just had to go along with if only to make sure he didn't kill him-" I felt a sob choke me and left the tears start streaming down my face. A moment later I was engulfed in a giant group hug and I let myself keep crying.

Eventually I felt someone pull me towards the seats and I sat down. I glanced up to see who's arms were around me and saw Alex looking at me concern on his face. I looked away and started into the ground as I felt Alex pull me closer and lean my head into his chest. We sat like that for I don't know how long as we listened to others come up and share stories about Alex, some that even I hadn't heard or known about. A couple hours later everyone started to drift away. People came up to us, Kevin's closest friends and hugged us before they left and soon only Caleb, Katie, Alisha, Merry, Kayla, Aryan, Karina, Jack, Alex and me left.

We all sat quietly in a circle, each lost in their own thoughts. I felt Jack grab my hand and I turned to look at him questioningly. He said "I think its time to head home"

I heard murmurs of everyone agreeing and nodded. I felt Alex get up and a moment later he grabbed my hands and pulled me up. As we all started walking to where our cars were parked Merry suddenly laughed and said "I just remembered the time Kevin decided that we should all dress up as Pokemon or characters from the show and go trick-or-treating"

I smiled as I remembered and said "we walked around these streets for hours, trick-or-treating and we were probably one of the older ones here"

We all laughed and Caleb said "I think you and Kevin were dressed as Ash and Misty with me as Brock. And everyone else was dressed as Pokemon. We got so much candy that day" he laughingly finished.

"Probably because we looked so ridiculas that people couldn't stop laughing" Aryan added.

We lapsed back into our previous quietness, broken only when someone thought up of something else we'd all done. Finally getting to Aj's house were all our cars were we all hugged goodbye and then piled into cars. I was in the car with Caleb, Katie, Merry, Jack and Alex and we drove slowly home. I knew that Jack was driving extra carefully whether out of caution or to not freak us out even more, I don't know.

As we pulled into our driveway I got final guys from the other three before they got into their car and left and Alex, Jack and I walked towards the house which was completely dark.

"Were mom and dad supposed to go somewhere today?" I asked Jack as he unlocked the door.

He shook his head "Not that I know of. They were supposed to go to that meeting in Sacramento on Thursday but they aren't leaving till tomorrow morning for that"

"Mom? Dad? Hello?" I called into the house as we walked in and turned on lights. As I glanced into the kitchen I saw a note propped up on the counter and went over to grab it. "Hey guys here's a note" I said as I opened it.

It said "there was a problem at the station in Pasadena. The pumps went off line and won't start. We are heading there tonight and since we were going to be leaving for Sacramento tomorrow anyway we'll just leave from Pasadena straight. I'll call you in a few hours and we'll be back on Sunday morning"

I finished reading the note and glanced at Alex and Jack and said "I'm happy they aren't here right now. I really don't feel like talking to them after the stunt they were trying to pull earlier"

Jack nodded and said "me too". He suddenly yawned and I looked at the clock, surprised to discover it was 10 minutes to midnight.

He followed my gaze and I could tell he was surprised at the time too. "I'm going to head to bed. It's been a long day and since mom and dad are both gone I"m going to have to go to the station here early tomorrow" he said as he climbed the stairs to his room.

I turned to look at Alex to tell him  I was going to bed as well and froze as I met his gaze. Even after the insanity of this day, I felt the butterflies in my stomach start to dance.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs and into my room. He pushed me onto my bed and after taking his jacket off, soon followed...